Деперсонализация или накъде бягаме?

Деперсонализация или накъде бягаме?

Отдавна исках да напиша малко по темата за деперсонализацията или простичко казано, усещането, че си извън тялото си, че го напускаш.
Аз съм имала това усещане много пъти в разстояние на години. Години в които имах паника и паник атаки, всеки Божи ден и нощ.
Мислила съм защо и на какво се дължи и искам да споделя това с вас.
Едва ли съм открила топлата вода, но за мен беше изненада, когато преди години ми хрумна, че аз просто съм искала да избягам от себе си, от тялото си, от обстоятелствата в живота си..
Ей така, съм се дереализирала или деперсонализирала, но за беда се връщах пак на същото място, само дето усещането на самото състояние, беше крайно плашещо и неприятно за мен.
Ето малко научна част за нещата,
Синдрома може да се появи, след силна умора, при екстремни условия, може да е следствие от халюциногенна интоксикация при употреба на канабис и марихуана например, вторичен ефект от медикаменти.
Възможно е да е поради депресия, когато сме разстроени, паника, хипервентилация.
Понякога се появява при напълно здрави хора и много често при хора страдащи от тревожни разстройства.
Та, за това ми е думата, че ако имаме такива усещания, е добре да се замислим, кой е този вътрешен конфликт, който ни кара да се чувстваме “не на място” и да не приемаме своето вътрешно Аз..?
Много често обаче, ние изобщо не осъзнаваме този конфликт, той идва под формата на напрежение, на тревожност и начина да престанем да бягаме, тоест да се деперсонализираме, по-научно казано, е да се вгледаме в себе си, в душите си, в непрестанните ни опити да се справим с всичко, без оглед какво ни коства това.
Подобна ревизия, би дала отговор на доста въпроси, които често избягваме..
От онези, неудобните, болящите, дето парят и така старателно ги натикваме, някъде дълбоко..
Мисля си, колко често, докато вървим по своя път, добре натъпкани с родителски съвети и социално-приемливи догми и норми на поведение, биваме подлъгвани, като бонус, от всякъкви лъскави реклами, псевдо водачи, гурута  и продавачи на мечти, които задължително знаят точния път, начин и подход за щастие..
Да, ама нечие друго и тогава..губим себе си..
Тотално забравяме кои сме, какви сме и изобщо на къде бяхме тръгнали и къде отиваме всъщност сега.
Никой не чува онова тънко гласче вътре, което няма шанс, сред гръмогласните глашатаи навън..
Е, питам се, дали не е логично при такова положение, при този заобикалящ ни фарс, да дойде деперсонализацията?
Излизането, бягството от живот, който всъщност ние не искаме..
Неведоми са пътищата на душите..
Връщането към простичките, но топлещите сърцето неща, естественото поведение, вместо вечна поза, връзката с природата и Бог, могат да ни помогнат да се преоткрием.
Нека опитаме да правим онова, което ни радва, което ни прави щастливи и ни усмихва, а не онова, което “трябва”, но сърцето крещи, че грешим..
Опита си заслужава..

Петя Симеонова, клиничен психолог

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