Травма и справяне с болката след аборт

Преди време работех с жена, загубила бебето си във втория месец от своята бременност.

Беше станал, така наречения мисед аборт, тоест, плодът беше спрял да се развива, въпреки първоначално добрите показатели.

Наложилото се бързо отстраняване, шокът от внезапната промяна, болката и последвалите самообвинеия, дали пък не го е предизвикала по някакъв начин, се бяха задълбочили с времето и се бяха превърнали в натрапчиви мисли.

Бяха се появили физически симптоми в различни части на тялото и въпреки това, тя по никакъв начин не свързваше случилото се тогава с положението си в момента.

Жената сподели, че никога не разговаря за загубата с партньорът си, но не е спирала да мисли и да страда.

Много често близките хора, както и самите лекари, съветват да се гледа напред, да се забрави случилото се, че такива неща стават и прочие фрази, които уж би трябвало да ни успокоят..

Проблемът е, че по този начин не се оставя шанс на жената, да изживее пълноценно загубата и да премине спокойно през всички етапи на оздравителният период.

Излиза, че чувствата и в онзи момент, са нещо не особено значимо, няма какво толкова да се говори по темата, защото животът тече, има и по-страшни неща..

Сигурно има, но държейки се така, ние тотално отхвърляме и не зачитаме сегашното положение, моментът тук и сега..

Става замитане на чувства и болка, на гняв и разочарование, на сълзи “под килима”, но нищо в този свят не се изтрива и не се губи, то просто се трансформира..

След това работих с още жени, които ми споделяха същото, че са опитали всячески да се върнат към задълженията си, все едно нищо не се е случило, но вътре в тях е имало огромна рана, тайно са плакали и са се чувствали неразбрани и сами..

Това е продължавало с години..

Обикновенно за тези неродени деца не се говори, не се споменава, те са като призраци..

Но тялото помни, душата помни и след време го заявяват, по свой си начин, например с депресия, болест, травма или друго, дошло сякаш от нищото..

Системата, семейната система е била нарушена и търси баланс и признаване.

Какво имам предвид.

Не може да се правим, че нещо, което се Е случило, не е било.

За болките, за случките в живота, за загубите, особено, когато са били тежки, болезнени и драматични, е необходимо да се говори..

Това е началото на изцелението и възстановяването на баланса в семейната система и душите ни.

Когато сме загубили бебе, независимо в кой стадий на бременността, трябва ясно и категорично да му дадем правото да бъде, да говорим за него, да му признаем правото на съществуване.

То е част от семейната система.

Много е важно, жените да си разрешат да страдат, да преживеят своята мъка, толкова, колко е нужно.

Прескачането на етапи, опитите да изглеждаме силни, могат да са само с временен ефект и той е със силно отрицателен за здравето знак.

В този случай, подкрепата на мъжът до нас е наистина много ценна, той затова е партньор, а не просто наблюдател..

Жени, моля ви, говорете, търсете помощ и подкрепа, ние имаме пълно право да се погрижим цялостно за здравето си, както във физически, така и в психичен аспект.

Само когато ги обгрижим поравно, можем да сме здрави!

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